April 13, 2004 Radiation Therapy Completed

Email diary sent to friends:

I am done with radiation therapy. Began 5 weeks ago. Twenty five treatments. Purpose to kill cancer cells that were left behind from surgery. My treatment has been external x-rays focused around my colon where surgery was done in November 2003. My radiation treatment plus chemo treatment should yield a 90% cure of no recurrence of colon cancer in the next 5 years.

My medical treatment has been excellent. I start my next round of chemo on April 20th. I have 14 days of pill form (Xeloda) and weekly IV of Oxaliplatin. I am not sure when my chemo will be done.

I have been able to work about 5 hours a day during my chemo and radiation. Only side effect has been diarrhea. Given the list of the possible side-effects I feel lucky that my body has been able to spring back to health thru the treatments. I am getting lots of sleep, exercise at the YMCA, eat well, and my recovery is going very well.

I know I am surrounded by angels thru all this and feel blessed for all the support of family and friends. Your prayers, emails, phone calls and support have been vital to my progress in fighting this disease.

April 27, 2004 Chemo diary notes

I have allergy runny nose, dry cough because bad air here (forced air furnace)
good appitite for lunch and dinner
xeloda works fine no real side effects, solid stools
weight 185
blood pressure 138/83 this is good
mind very clear
able to swim 4 laps in Ymca indoor pool

April 28
soaked in hot jacizi at YMCA today. still sore in colon area.
talked to Doctor today.
I have two more IV treatments of oxiplatin in May. Got one today.

I finish Xeloda NEXT Tuesday . then get some resting time.

One more round of Xeloda for 14 days then I think I am done with chemo.

My Diagnosis

My Diagnosis
Oct 2003.

I opened my eyes seeing the face of my doctor. He had a serious, concerned look in his eyes. The anesthesia was wearing off and I wasn’t quite sure where I was.

“You have colon cancer, Mr. Beckstein. You must get an abdominal resection as soon as possible.” My doctor stated.

“What? I have cancer?” I asked dumbfounded.

“Colon cancer. Your surgeon will have to remove half your colon to remove the cancer but I don’t think you will need a colostomy bag.” He repeated since I appeared to be in shock and panic. He handed me a tiny slip of paper as the nurses wheeled me out of the procedure room. Doors opened. I felt like I was leaving a carwash. I stared at the ceiling and looked at an upside down nurse.

“You will be expelling quite a lot of air out of your rectum, Mr. Beckstein.” The nurse commented as she pushed my gurney into recovery.

“What is an abdominal resection?” I asked the nurse squinting my eyes trying to read the piece of paper the doc had handed me. It still had not hit me yet that I had cancer. She said that I needed to talk to the doctor about my diagnosis.

“Can I get you a cup of water?” she asked.

“How about bourbon?”

It was a miracle I was able to drive home by myself without having an accident. I was coming out of a routine colonoscopy and into the world of being a colon cancer patient.

I felt like I was falling down a big well with nothing to hold for safety. Falling and spinning and lost. Solid ground was a thing of the past; out of control.

My mind raced as I sat in my backyard garden. I have cancer! I have cancer? What am I going to do? Maybe the doctor is wrong. Maybe I don’t have cancer? I should get a second opinion. DAMN this is not fair! I take good care of my body and I get CANCER? Why me? What am I going to do now? MY GOD I HAVE CANCER! Am I going to die? How can I pay for this treatment? Where can I find a good doctor? What am I going to do??? Do I have enough sick leave at work for treatment??? MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

My cancer diagnosis hit me like a lighting bolt, unexpected. Out of the blue. BHAM!!! I looked around dazed, confused, scared and panic crept into my body. Adrenalin pumped into my blood stream and my heart pounded in my chest.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

Perhaps being told you have cancer is like being inside a tornado. Memories flood your brain and emotions trigger you body as you spin round and round as you try to figure this cancer thing out. The experience is being out of control. Shocked. Spinning and spinning and spinning.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

For those of you who have experienced an earthquake, a cancer diagnosis is like that. The ground starts to shake and the bookcase starts to sway next to your head and you pray the cancer will not crush you. You pray to God to give you strength to fight this disease. You pray a lot when you have cancer.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

I love to swim in the ocean. I am a good swimmer. One time I was in Maui on a beautiful beach. The water was 80 degrees. I put on my mask, fins and snorkel and swam alone without a boogie board. A rip current began to pull me out to sea away from the safety of dry land. I swam with all of my might against the tide. I looked at the ocean bottom with my goggles and I was not moving because the rip current was pulling me out to sea. I was lucky. I remembered how to rescue myself and get back to the safety of the shore.

The New Normal…Free at Last

Free of cancer. I am free of cancer. I just completed a colonoscopy and my doctor recommended I return in five years for my next checkup. FIVE YEARS! 2012? I count five years on the fingers of my right hand like a school child. Five years!

Does this mean that I am finally cured of cancer?

YES.

No doctor will tell me I am cured. They can’t. The medical establishment lawyers won’t let the doctor’s use the word “cured.” Instead the proper medical term is “no evidence of recurring disease.”

Fine. Write anything you want in my medical record, but I am cured! I am normal again.

The new normal is no more CT body scans at $8000 per test costing me $2500 co-pay. I have the best health insurance the state of California can offer me yet I still have a co-pay. Hello…. I can find many more things I can do with $2500 then pay for more cancer tests. How about a trip to the Barrier Reef in the Pacific to scuba dive? The new normal is my medical expenses are greatly reduced in 2008.

I am cancer free. I am done! I am normal again.

According to some online dictionary, normal means “Conforming with or constituting an accepted standard, model, or pattern; esp., corresponding to the median or average of a large group in type, appearance, achievement, function, development, etc.; natural; usual; standard; regular.”

I am a regular guy now. “Regular” means I can poop with some kind of predictable pattern. I can be very proud that I am regular and I can defecate solid stools and not have diarrhea. Ask me. I am a former colon cancer patient. I can tell you stories of bowel control issues. Cancer survivors can tell you stories.

I am healthy again. I am cancer free. I am done with cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation. No more drugs! No more side effects of chemo brain, falling down, nausea, exhaustion, pain, panic, fear of death, etc.

I am cancer free. This is waking up at 4 AM to wait for the sunrise. Cancer free is anticipation of a new day and a new life. No more cancer ghosts hiding under my bed. No more boogieman in the closet. No more cancer ghosts floating in the air that I breathe and in the food I eat! No more tiny cancer cells floating in my body to invade organs. A clean windshield to look forward to a bright future ahead. I am alive. I am well. I am happy to be alive. I can expect to live longer now.

The CEA blood tests and CT body scans and several colonoscopies prove to my doctors and me that I am a NERD. No evidence of recurring disease.

I am cancer free! I am normal. A regular guy. I shave and put on deodorant and go to work.

Free at last, free at last, God almighty I am cancer free at last!

Green tea may protect against colon cancer

NEW YORK -- An extract of green tea wards off colorectal cancer, animal experiments show.

According to research reported at the Sixth International Conference on Frontiers in Cancer Prevention, sponsored by the American Association for Cancer Research, a standardized green tea polyphenol preparation (Polyphenon E) limits the growth of colorectal tumors in rats treated with a substance that causes the cancer.

"Our findings show that rats fed a diet containing Polyphenon E are less than half as likely to develop colon cancer," Dr. Hang Xiao, from the Ernest Mario School of Pharmacy at Rutgers University, Piscataway, New Jersey, noted in a statement.

These results are consistent with previously published results, which showed that green tea consumption was associated with lower colon cancer rates in Shanghai, China, he also noted.

In the study, Xiao and colleagues injected rats with azoxymethane, a chemical known to produce colorectal tumors that share many characteristics with colorectal cancer in humans. Then they fed the animals a high-fat Western-style diet with or without Polyphenon E for 34 weeks. The amount of Polyphenon the animals took in was roughly equal to about four to six cups of green tea per day.

Polyphenon E decreased the total number of tumors per rat and decreased tumor size, compared with control rats that were not given Polyphenon E, Xiao told the conference.

"In the control group," he said, "67 percent of rats developed malignant tumors while in the treated group only 27 percent of rats had malignant tumors. Most important, tea polyphenols decreased the number of malignant tumors per rat by 80 percent compared to the control group."

When the researchers analyzed blood and colon tissue samples, they found a "considerable amount of tea polyphenols in those samples in treated animals, and those levels of tea polyphenols were comparable to the human situation after ingestion of tea leaves or tea beverage," Xiao noted.

The researchers believe these findings will pave the way for clinical trials with green tea polyphenols in humans.

(Agencies)
Updated: 2007-12-08 10:42

The Riptide of Cancer

When the doctor gave me a piece of paper with “Cancer” written on it and handed it to me and told me to go get an abdominal resection but probably would not need a colostomy bag, I went into shock.

I felt like I was falling down a big well with nothing to hold for safety. Falling and spinning and lost. Solid ground was a thing of the past. Out of control. I like pretending to be in control. Only an illusion.

My hands were sweaty on the steering wheel as I recklessly drove home alone and mind racing. My body was numb. I just got my diagnosis of colon cancer. Oct 2003.

I have cancer! I have cancer? What am I going to do? Maybe the doctor is wrong. Maybe I don’t have cancer? Maybe I should get a second opinion. DAMN this is not fair! I take good care of my body and I get CANCER? Why me? What am I going to do now? MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!
Am I going to die? How can I pay for this treatment? Where can I find a good doctor? What am I going to do??? Do I have enough sick leave at work for treatment??? MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

My bet is that nobody is ever prepared for a cancer diagnosis. It hits like a lighting bolt, unexpected. Out of the blue. BHAM!!! Then you look around dazed and confused and scared and panic creeps into your body and adrenalin pumps in your system and your heart pounds in your chest. Maybe you hyperventilate.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

Perhaps being told you have cancer is like being inside a tornado. Memories flood your brain and emotions trigger you body as you spin round and round as you try to figure this cancer thing out. The experience is being out of control. Shocked. Spinning and spinning and spinning.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

For those of you who have experienced an earthquake, a cancer diagnosis is like that. The ground starts to shake and the bookcase starts to sway next to your head and you pray the cancer will not crush you. You pray to God to give you strength to fight this disease.

MY GOD I HAVE CANCER!

I swim in the ocean. I am a good swimmer. One time I was in Maui on a beautiful beach. The water was 80 degrees. I put on my mask, fins and snorkel and swam alone without a boogie board. THEN a riptide began to pull me out to sea away from the safety of dry land. I swam with all of my might against the tide. I looked at the ocean bottom with my goggles and I was not moving because the riptide is pulling me out to sea.

My cancer diagnosis felt like a riptide pulling me out to sea and perhaps death. YOU try to figure out what to do to save your life, NOW. There are no vacations from Cancer. The riptide was pulling me away from a normal life without cancer.

Spices having anti-cancer properties

Here's a list of the spices Jeanne Wallace specified as having anti-cancer properties. "Chai, turmeric, thyme, saffron, sage, rosemary, ginger, garlic and cinnamon.

Jeanne M. Wallace, PhD, CNC
(435) 563-0053
1697 East, 3450 North
North Logan, Utah 84341 USA

Graveyard shift work linked to cancer

Graveyard shift work linked to cancer
By MARIA CHENG, AP Medical Writer Thu Nov 29, 8:25 PM ET

LONDON - Like UV rays and diesel exhaust fumes, working the graveyard shift will soon be listed as a "probable" cause of cancer. It is a surprising step validating a concept once considered wacky. And it is based on research that finds higher rates of breast and prostate cancer among women and men whose work day starts after dark.

Next month, the International Agency for Research on Cancer, the cancer arm of the World Health Organization, will add overnight shift work as a probable carcinogen. The American Cancer Society says it will likely follow. Up to now, the U.S. organization has considered the work-cancer link to be "uncertain, controversial or unproven."

The higher cancer rates don't prove working overnight can cause cancer. There may be other factors common among graveyard shift workers that raise their risk for cancer.

However, scientists suspect that overnight work is dangerous because it disrupts the circadian rhythm, the body's biological clock. The hormone melatonin, which can suppress tumor development, is normally produced at night.

If the graveyard shift theory eventually proves correct, millions of people worldwide could be affected. Experts estimate that nearly 20 percent of the working population in developed countries work night shifts.

Among the first to spot the night shift-cancer connection was Richard Stevens, a cancer epidemiologist and professor at the University of Connecticut Health Center. In 1987, Stevens published a paper suggesting a link between light at night and breast cancer.

Back then, he was trying to figure out why breast cancer incidence suddenly shot up starting in the 1930s in industrialized societies, where nighttime work was considered a hallmark of progress. Most scientists were bewildered by his proposal.
But in recent years, several studies have found that women working at night over many years were indeed more prone to breast cancer. Also, animals that have their light-dark schedules switched develop more cancerous tumors and die earlier.
Some research also suggests that men working at night may have a higher rate of prostate cancer.

Because these studies mostly focused on nurses and airline crews, bigger studies in different populations are needed to confirm or disprove the findings.

There are still plenty of skeptics. And to put the risk in perspective, the "probable carcinogen" tag means that the link between overnight work and cancer is merely plausible.

Among the long list of agents that are listed as "known" carcinogens are alcoholic beverages and birth control pills. Such lists say nothing about exposure amount or length of time or how likely they are to cause cancer. The American Cancer Society Web site notes that carcinogens do not cause cancer at all times.

Still, many doubters of the night shift link may be won over by the IARC's analysis to be published in the December issue of the journal Lancet Oncology.

"The indications are positive," said Vincent Cogliano, who heads up the agency's carcinogen classifications unit. "There was enough of a pattern in people who do shift work to recognize that there's an increase in cancer, but we can't rule out the possibility of other factors."

Scientists believe having lower melatonin levels can raise the risk of developing cancer. Light shuts down melatonin production, so people working in artificial light at night may have lower melatonin levels.

Melatonin can be taken as a supplement, but experts don't recommend it long-term, since that could ruin the body's ability to produce it naturally.

Sleep deprivation may be another factor in cancer risk. People who work at night are not usually able to completely reverse their day and night cycles.

"Night shift people tend to be day shift people who are trying to stay awake at night," said Mark Rea, director of the Light Research Center at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in New York, who is not connected with the IARC analysis.

Not getting enough sleep makes your immune system vulnerable to attack, and less able to fight off potentially cancerous cells.

Confusing your body's natural rhythm can also lead to a breakdown of other essential tasks. "Timing is very important," Rea said. Certain processes like cell division and DNA repair happen at regular times.

Even worse than working an overnight shift is flipping between daytime and overnight work.

"The problem is re-setting your body's clock," said Aaron Blair, of the United States' National Cancer Institute, who chaired IARC's recent meeting on shift work. "If you worked at night and stayed on it, that would be less disruptive than constantly changing shifts."

Anyone whose light and dark schedule is often disrupted — including frequent long-haul travelers or insomniacs — could theoretically face the same increased cancer risk, Stevens said.

He advises workers to sleep in a darkened room once they get off work. "The balance between light and dark is very important for your body. Just get a dark night's sleep."

Meanwhile, scientists are trying to come up with ways to reduce night workers' cancer risk. And some companies are experimenting with different lighting, seeking a type that doesn't affect melatonin production.

So far, the color that seems to have the least effect on melatonin is one that few people would enjoy working under: red.

Gift for Suzanne

A Gift for Suzanne
October 2006

I woke up early and made coffee.

Where is the sugar? I thought to myself as I fumbled around in a foreign kitchen. Hope they have half and half. I thought as I poured a cup of coffee, took a sip and then spat in the kitchen sink. SALT! I thought that was sugar! I searched all the cabinets. No sugar. Pat woke up and entered the kitchen quietly. She tip toed into the kitchen with toasty slippers wearing a warm terry cloth bathrobe.


“What are you looking for?” Pat whispered. We tried not to wake the other sleepers. We failed.

“Sugar” I replied embarrassed.

Pat opened a cabinet. She found a pretty canister with white sugar in four seconds flat. I configured my second cup of coffee.

Five minutes later the world was a better place. I had my coffee my way.

Pat and I slowly savored our coffee as we stared out the window at the garden in silent reflection.

We came to the Sierras for Melissa’s memorial service. She was killed in a traffic accident suddenly. Truck tire blowout, head-on collision, and Mo was gone. Maybe coffee will help with our mental clarity as we prepare for Mo's memorial service. Maybe coffee will be the comfort to soothe my despair.

“Coffee ready yet?” Tom whispered as he shuffled into the kitchen.

“I really like your bathrobe, Tom” I commented as Pat poured a cup of java for her sweetie.” Where did you get this one Pat?”

“Thrift store in Merced” she responded. I thought Tom and Pat's bathrobe collection was cool. Tom usually has that glazed look in the morning until has coffee and the morning paper.
Do they deliver a morning paper up here in the hills? I wondered.

Three people drank coffee and stared out the window waiting for caffeine to move to our brains.

Our hostess Suzanne entered the kitchen with her husband Ron. She had a small pot pipe and baggie of homegrown. Suzanne had been on the computer doing more research on her disease. Stacks of books about cancer surrounded her bed. Suzanne needed a break. She looked very tired to me this morning.

I remember the glass bowl in their living room with “Cancer Sucks!” black and white buttons. The glass bowl was half empty like her pot pipe.

“Mornin” the coffee drinkers mumbled in unison. Suzanne was fighting cancer. Pot was her pain reliever. Suzanne took a toke. We drank coffee together and stared out the window at the Sierra foothills.

“It is so quiet up here in the mountains. So peaceful.” I commented as I left the group to walk outside through the garden coffee mug in hand.

The sun was filtering through the canopy of trees. Birds sang, Fall colors surrounded me but I didn't see color that day. My heart was filled with sadness for my loss of a friend Melissa. I did not see color that day only black and white.

I opened my car trunk. I was not sure what would be a good gift for our hostess. This morning I had the answer. I returned to the kitchen with a small baggie in my hand.

“Here is some bud I think you will enjoy.” I offered it to my hostess. Suzanne smiled and looked at me with soft eyes.

“Thank you, Doug,” she said. "Want a toke?" she asked.

"I'm good," I replied. "Just need coffee, scrambled eggs, sausage and toast for breakfast this morning."

November 2007
I saw Ron and Suzanne once again at Pat’s 60th birthday party. She looked great to me compared to my last visit. She seemed peaceful. I watched her dance with her husband and visit with friends.

I asked Suzanne to look at my writing draft the “Gift for my hostess” piece and she relied:
“I liked your piece about us. Of course where I’m coming from I would call your coffee ‘sugar with a splash of coffee’ but then I have been sugar-free for year now. Coffee-free as well. You can keep your sausage breakfasts too. Believe me I’m not bitter that I can’t have meat and grease and cholesterol.

A year on my diet I believe has set me free. Reiki and diet and a good holistic local doctor have made my life better. Weekly massages too. Friends and a wonderful husband are the glue to my whole self.

I wouldn’t change anything in your writing,Doug. What a healing day that was for me. That’s when Michael Hornick offered me Reiki. He still delivers four times a week and I get to work on him with his sore hip.

We are blessed Doug, you and me, because we know the true meaning of gratitude. We see the good in Everything. Keep it up!
Happy Healing. Peace
Suzanne

January 12, 2008 at 4:30AM Suzanne died at home.

The Flexible Straw

The Flexible Straw
September 2006

Autumn gave everyone a flexible straw, a large 15 by 17 inch piece of white water color quality paper. She asked each writer to drop India ink randomly on our own paper. Using our straws we blew designs.

What does this have to do with cancer? I wondered to myself.

New faces sat around a meeting room table. Cancer survivors meeting for the first time for Autumn’s “In other words” writing group. Two guys and a bunch of women.

At that time I didn’t consider myself a writer. I published health education materials in the early eighties. I used desktop publishing which allowed me to do everything. That wasn’t writing. The writing I wanted to start was to write honest stories of my colon cancer experience.

“Autumn, why are we doing an art project today? I thought this was a writing group.”
I asked the teacher. She paused a moment.

Everyone else in the room just glared at me. Just do the exercise their eyes seemed to communicate. I busied myself with snacks and sipped bottled water and waited for her reply.

The teacher explained we were doing this exercise to loosen up our minds and to become more creative. Then she gave us a writing prompt and we wrote for 20 minutes in our own spiral notebooks. Later we could read what we wrote if we chose to do share our writing.

I still have that artwork in my closet. It is stored next to my high school yearbook, the box of fading baby pictures and the backpack I used in 1985 when I took a trip to Alaska.

Before and After I Had Cancer

Begun 9/14/06 and Expanded 11/07

Before I had cancer, I thought I would live forever, but now I am happy to have each day of my life.

Before I had cancer, I enjoyed recreational use of alcohol and pot but now I enjoy having a clear functioning brain and have less interest in using alcohol and pot.

Before I had cancer, I would ride a bike without a helmet, but now I wear a helmet and I am more safety conscious.

Before I had cancer I was just normal, but after I got cancer and beat the disease friends would treat me like I was SUPERMAN.

Before I had cancer my second marriage was dissolving, but after I got cancer I got a divorce.

Before I had cancer I did know there were angels, now I realize that I am surrounded by angels and know God will answer my prayers.

Before I had cancer I was under tremendous stress, now I experience a sense of peace and serenity most of the time.

Before I had cancer I would sweat the small stuff, but now I enjoy each moment and count the many blessings in my life.

Before I had cancer at times I would be fearful, but now I can honestly say I feel safe and happy and peaceful in most situations.

Before I had cancer I was sleep deprived now I get plenty of rest and take naps each day.

Before I had cancer I owned a big home with a yard to maintain, now I rent a small studio and keep it simple.

Before I had cancer I played guitar, now I play ukulele.

Before I had cancer I had a daily 4 hour commute in traffic, now a 10 minute commute by bike to get to work.

Before I had cancer I would speed on the highway in the fast lane, now I set my car on cruise control to the speed limit and ride the middle lane.

Before I had cancer I would listen to music on my ipod, now I enjoy silence.

Before I had cancer I had a to do list with much to accomplish, today I am more selective with the projects I want to do. I focus and finish.

Before I had cancer I was lacking love and affection, now I am blessed with both.

Lack of Knowledge About Colon Cancer Screening

Colorectal Cancer Finding #1: Survey Reveals Lack of Knowledge About Colon Cancer Screening

According to a recent consumer survey, Americans have a poor grasp on when and why to get tested for colon cancer.

The most startling result was that 38% of people over age 50 were able to name a judge on the hit television show “American Idol,” yet only 34% knew they were at risk for colon cancer. Women were less likely than men to believe they were at risk, although the risk of colon cancer is equal in men and women. Seventy percent of those over age 50 believed that getting tested for colon cancer could reduce their risk of colon cancer, but less than half (44%) knew when they should start testing (the answer is age 50).

Colon cancer is the third leading cause of cancer in the United States: Estimates suggest that 146,000 people were diagnosed with colon cancer in 2005 and 56,000 died from it. Screening tests are very effective in detecting colon cancer, and the chance of surviving colon cancer is greatest when the disease is caught early. The American Cancer Society encourages all Americans age 50 and over to talk to their doctor about colon cancer screening tests. Reported by the American Cancer Society and published online at www.cancer.org.

Colorectal Cancer Finding #2: Sigmoidoscopy Misses Two Thirds of Colorectal Cancers in Women

Research suggests that flexible sigmoidoscopy, a screening test for colorectal cancer, is not as accurate in women as in men. In the study of 1,463 women (age 50–79) who underwent colonoscopy for routine colorectal cancer screening, 5% were found to have advanced colorectal cancer. The researchers estimated that if a sigmoidoscopy -- which examines only the rectum and lower portion of the colon -- had been performed, two thirds of these cancers would have been missed because they occurred too far up in the colon to be detected by sigmoidoscopy.

A colonoscopy examines the entire colon and rectum. When the results were compared to those of a similar study in men, sigmoidoscopy was half as accurate in women: While 66% of men would have had advanced colon cancers detected via sigmoidoscopy, only 35% of advanced colon cancers in women would have been found.

Based on these data, a colonoscopy is the preferred method of screening for colon cancer in both men and women. Even though a sigmoidoscopy is easier and less costly to perform and can be done without sedation, a colonoscopy is the gold standard screening test for colon cancer and is the one you should opt for, especially if you are a woman. Reported in The New England Journal of Medicine (Volume 352, page 2061).

Colonoscopy and flashbacks

Someone told me that Gandhi had a colon cleanse every three months. Well good for him! I did not feel like being Gandhi. I had to empty my colon for another colonoscopy.

I have been down this road before. Prepare for a colonoscopy, find the right doctor and the right medications, empty out my digestive system, sign paperwork, find a driver, hope there is no more cancer.

Some friends ask my advice about getting a colonoscopy. I seem to be the colonoscopy poster child. I promote the colonoscopy procedure to help get colon cancer diagnosed early so we can save lives. I urge my friends and family to go do it. Some friends delay getting a colonoscopy for years. When they see me in the hall at work they assure me that they are going to get it real soon. Right.

My first colonoscopy in 2003 I did the entire procedure alone. I did the prep alone at home. I drove myself. When I got my diagnosis of colon cancer I was alone driving home. I was in shock and panic from my news and coming out of anthesia and driving home was stupid.

Four years later, 2007, I do things differently. Now I ask for help and support during this procedure.

The 2007 preparation for my procedure was different than 2003. My doctor’s instructions were much more detailed for my colon cleansing. Three days before the scope I maintained a low fiber diet. No fruits, no vegetables and no bran cereals. I was familiar with this diet. After my abdominal resection this same low fiber diet helped me gain strength and recover.

When I was on this low fiber diet for three days in 2007, I triggered memories of my cancer diagnosis of 2003. Triggers of panic. Triggered memories that I was going to die. These triggers are less powerful since I can observe them from a distance.

I talked about this triggered experience with my girlfriend and close friends. Thanksgiving is a reminder and trigger of recovering from cancer surgery three years ago. The turkey and mashed potatoes are easy to digest. Comfort food that I have always enjoyed. As a youngster Thanksgiving was associated with big family gatherings and yummy food. Now turkey is associated with recovery food and healing from cancer treatments.

The day before my recent colonoscopy in 2007 I was on the clear liquid diet. Jell-O, clear juices, tea, broth and 7up. I was at work doing this colon cleansing and I was very spaced out. This reminded me of past chemo brain. My mind was not as sharp. I wasn’t drinking coffee.

What was that password to log into the network? I thought to myself. My mind floated like chemo brain at work. I sipped mint tea and craved coffee for mental calrity.

Marsha appearsed at my cubical and waitsed to get my attention. I stopped my paperwork and asked, “How are you Marsha?”

“Do you have a moment, Doug? I have a question. I did not know who else to ask.”

It was clear this question was not work related.

“Of course I have a minute, how can I help you Marsha?” I replied and spun my chair around to face her.

“Yergal has been out sick. He has cancer in his stomach. He is going into chemo treatments in December and I wanted to know what I could do for him to help.” Her words tumbled out of her mouth quickly. She almost whispered the story.

I paused a moment to collect my thoughts. My mind was floating along from the liquid diet food fast. I call this brain functioning “swiss cheese” thinking because there were holes in my memory where data was stored but I can’t access it. I told Marsha I was getting ready for my colonoscopy and was replaying some emotions from the past. Then I gave her some ideas of what she could do to support Yergal in his treatment process.

Emotional roulette.
That is what this experience felt like. A different feeling stuffed into each bullet chamber. Spin the gun chamber. Pull the trigger. Another emotion explodes in my brain. Most of the time I am quite happy and positive about life. When I go for cancer testing the emotional roulette process may pull an emotional trigger:

1. Panic- I am going to die.
2. Loneliness- I will be abandoned if I get sick again.
3. Rage- The health care system will over charge for my treatment and my health insurance will not cover all my treatments.
4. Sadness- another friend has died from Cancer.
5. Helplessness – There is nothing I can do about this disease.
6. Confusion- what is going on? Who can I trust? Do I have chemo brain again?

“Are you ready?” Chris asked me on the phone. He was my driver to the surgery center for my colonoscopy. I grabbed my folder with medical information, my keys, my wallet and my cell phone.

“Ready” I reply, hung up the phone. locked the door, called the elevator to the sixth floor.

Come on, Come on. I thought to myself. Never patient for elevators. Finally I left the building and climbed into Chris’s car with my map in hand. I was so glad to see Chris to drive me to my colonoscopy.

“How you doing? Chris asked as he snuck through a red light and positioned himself in the left hand turn lane in the next block. The engine in his old car sounded like hyperactive squirrels tap-dancing under the hood. I hope I don't have to walk home because he car doesn't work. The least of my problems.

“Pretty good.” I answered with all the confidence I could muster. Chris knew some of the details about the prep and the colon cleansing.

He called Lorraine that morning and made plans to hike and play music. Lorraine called my cell phone right after talking to Chris. She was very understanding and supportive. I was able to talk again about my triggered feelings about my colonoscopy as I shopped for food. My procedure was scheduled for noon. I made use of the morning to do some chores and kept busy rather than fret at home.

My cell phone vibrated. I missed call. I dialed to retrieve the message. My oncology nurse friend Corrinde left a message with advice about what food to eat after my procedure. She advised me to go slow with re-entry with my gym routine. We both go the Y aerobics class and know that it is easy to over do a workout during group exercise. I called her back to thank her for her support.

We drove for 2 more minutes to our destination. Chris pulls the car over to the curb. I left my cell phone with him. He does not own one. I thanked him for the ride. He drove away. I am alone again. I crossed the street and entered the beautiful old building. I entered the waiting room, signed in, and signed away all rights without reading the fine print. Saved a copy for my own file folder. I payed the co-pay with my VISA card then sat down and looked at the waiting room magazines.

I could choose from People magazine or Outside magazine. (I wished I brought a book to read). Instead I looked at ads for $399 ski pants and beer ads and articles about how to survive being attacked by a shark. Fun reading before a colonoscopy?

“Mr. Beckstein?” a cheery young nurse called my name. “Would you please follow me?”

I was glad to leave the waiting room with the music of R & B Oldies playing thru a speaker that sounded like a 1965 transistor radio. Again not very relaxing for this patient.

The cheery nurse walked me twenty feet to a interview room and turned me over to the older nurse named “Angela”. She reviewed my chart and asked all the routine questions for my health history. I had to pull out some data from my own file folder to answer some of her questions.

She escorted me to the next room where I was prepared for "the scope". I put on flesh colored booties and a hospital gown. Blood pressure check, temperature in the ear, warm blanket then the nurse started an IV in my hand. She asked if I needed a magazine to read. I declined. She pulled the curtain and hid my gurney and attended to another patient.

More waiting. I noticed that I was calm and ready to get this done. Twenty minutes later I entered the procedure room. I greeted the doctor and noticed he had good taste in music. The nurse asked me to roll over on my side and bend my knees. The doctor told her the dose of medication and she plugged a needle into the IV rig in my hand and then I faded to a light sleep.

...fade to black...

Thirty minutes later I opened my eyes in the recovery room. The nurse asked me if I could drink a paper cup of water. I asked for a refill.

“Here are the results of your test Mr. Beckstein.” The nurse handed me a printed report with numerous color photographs of my colon.

No cancer. My colon was clean. No evidence of re-occurring disease. This is very good news!

I signed a piece of paper that verified that I got the report. Ten minutes later I left the building a free man.

A man free of cancer.

Preparation for my latest Colonoscopy

My doctor prescribed OsmoPrep sodium phosphate 24 tablets for my colon cleansing. This works better than the liquid medication I got in the past.

My doctor had me stop some medications 5 days before my Colonoscopy.

He put me on a low fiber diet for 3 days before my procedure. No fruits, no vegetables, no bran cereals. I could eat meat and starches like rice and potatoes.

One day before I was on a clear liquid diet.

A colonoscopy at high noon

Reactions from my writing group when I asked them to send “good thoughts” for my colonoscopy scheduled for noon on Wednesday…email replies

I have never thought so much about anyone's colon in my life! I will not slack off on Wednesday. Good luck, and happy Thanksgiving.
Autumn

A colonoscopy at high noon. Smacks of a bad western. You can get a pill regime that won't make you vomit. I got it because I told them to give it to me. My vomit regulator broke during chemo. The people who prescribe HalfLytely are assholes. The pill regime works just as well, sans the upchuck. If you need moral support, I can send over my switchblade.
Hugs
Tina

I shall be happy to think good thoughts and say prayers, too. These are important times and procedures.
Blessings, Nancy

And finally the word processor told me to consider revising some items. Not on your life!
Doug Beckstein
11/20/07

The Colonoscopy

I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse, Evelyn took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.

While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: A tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove and a beer.

When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the beer is for?"

The Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse. "Darn it Evelyn, I said a BUTT LIGHT!"

No Lifeguard on Duty

7:30AM. Oakland YMCA.

I squat in a half filled Jacuzzi. Lukewarm water. Warming tight muscles. Sitting in a tiled tub. Trying to relax before I go to work.

“Juan’s home now.” Leroy announced. He was heading to the steam room.

“I thought he was still in the hospital.” I answered.

“Talked with him last night after dinner. He’s out.” Leroy replied.

“The cancer is in his liver now. He has been in Kaiser for a month.” I blurt out loud to no one in particular. Everyone bows their heads as if in prayer.

Three men look at me with sad eyes and say nothing. One disappears into the steam room. Another picks up his shaving kit and returns to his locker. The third man stares at the water coming into the Jacuzzi trying to relax.

The sign over our heads said, “No lifeguard on duty” in four languages.

Prevent Colon Cancer

The evidence that links various foods with the risk of colon cancer is increasing. Fortunately, most of the foods that are good for you are good to eat as well.

So far, there is no surefire way to prevent colon cancer or a recurrence. But increasing knowledge about contributing factors has revealed that lifestyle choices may lower your risk. Some of the information is surprising and may challenge your assumptions. However, much of the new information echoes time-honored common sense:

-Eat a healthy diet high in fruits and vegetables,
-Maintain an appropriate weight
-Exercise regularly.

Foods to avoid are red meat, charred meat, processed meat, and saturated fat. All are connected with higher cancer risks, though the reason remains unclear. Charred and processed meats have high levels of cancer-promoting chemicals, and saturated fat in red meat may upset the balance of bile acids used for digestion. These foods also contribute to heart disease and other ills.

There is an abundance of good foods. The Mediterranean Diet, which is based on whole grains, fruits, vegetables, fish, and a small amount of meat, is a healthy basis for nutrition.

Fiber is high on the “good” list. It helps to move food through the digestive system and may increase some chemicals known to protect the colon. Studies have generally linked high levels of dietary fiber with low rates of colon cancer and adenomatous polyps, although one recent mega-study did not confirm this. The jury remains out, but for many reasons it’s still good to add fiber (beans, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables) to your diet.

Folic acid -- also known as folate -- is related to a 20–50% lower risk of colon cancer and polyps. It can also offset some effects of alcohol, which inhibits folate production in the body. There is evidence that taking folic acid in a daily multivitamin for five years lowers the risk of colon cancer by almost 50% among women with a family history of colon cancer. All of the sources of dietary fiber listed above contain some folic acid, and you can take it in supplements as well.

Vitamin D and calcium may reduce risks. Higher levels of vitamin D are connected with lower colorectal cancer rates, and calcium in food may lower risks. However, when taken as a supplement, calcium does not appear to have the same effect. Up the odds of lowering your risks by eating calcium-rich dark green vegetables and getting vitamin D in fish, yogurt, milk, and a small amount of daily sunshine.

Other good foods linked with lower colon cancer risks include olive oil, garlic, turmeric, and colorful fruits and vegetables, which are high in antioxidants. The evidence is mixed for coffee, but a moderate amount may reduce risks of both liver and colon cancer.

Source: John's Hopkins Health Letter Nov 6, 2007

High Prescription Prices

Drug companies state that the high prescription prices are necessary to fund resource on newer ones. To a certain extent, this is justifiable. Some individuals are bankrupted because of excessive medical costs, including prescriptions. Consider the number of people who simply cannot afford to purchase medications. These may include your aging parents, aunts, and uncles, your next door neighbor, or you. The reduced cost programs are open to a limited few--not those who theoretically have adequate financial resources.

The greed exhibited by large drugstore chains affects all of us. Take a look at Richard Reich's "Supercapitalism". This book may help us to understand the demise of morality in the marketplace.

Support the businesses that support affordable health care. Write to other drug stores like Long's, Rite Aid, Walgreen's, CVS, and Drug World. Let them know that you are switching to pharmacies whose pricing reflects the reality. Remember that many reasonably priced, national chain pharmacies may provide online ordering with mail delivery.

Imagine Fighting Cancer

Imagine fighting cancer with guided imagery. Imagine a soothing voice and relaxing music to program your brain to prepare for surgery. Imagine shrinking and killing cancer cells. Imagine healing quickly after surgery and chemotherapy treatments.

After my colon cancer diagnosis in October 2003, I called my friend Trish to get the name of the guided imagery and affirmations CD that she reported really helped her husband recover from open-heart surgery. She gave me the name of Belleruth Naparstek.

I ordered a Successful Surgery CD from Health Journeys. I played the CD several times each day to prepare me for my abdominal resection surgery. I relaxed in my bed and played the CD and drifted off to Belleruth’s voice. The guided imagery helped me reduce my anxiety of surgery.

Years later, I attended a Belleruth Naparstek seminar for cancer patients and health professionals and she reported that this guided imagery was found to be highly effective in double blind, placebo-controlled research. She reported that Successful Surgery creates the context for a successful, safe and comfortable surgery. The CD has suggestions to reduce bleeding and speed up mending with minimal discomfort. A separate music track can be played in the operating room and affirmations focus on the recovery period.

My friend Trish was right. Guided imagery and affirmations are very helpful.

Drink Water

As we age, our thirst response is blunted. As a result, many older Americans may not be drinking enough water and may be at risk for dehydration, according to a report in the American Journal of Nursing (Volume 106, page 40).

Water is an essential nutrient because it is involved in all the processes in your body. Since water needs vary with diet, physical activity, environmental temperature, and other factors, it is difficult to pin down an exact water requirement. Changes in the body that accompany aging can make you vulnerable to shifts in water balance. In fact, when 35 nursing home residents were followed for six months, a third of them were found to be dehydrated -- they had not drunk enough water and other liquids, had lost too much fluid, or both.

Potential consequences of dehydration include constipation, falls, drug toxicity, urinary tract infections, longer healing times for wounds, and even hospitalization. The cue to drink, known as the thirst response, is blunted with age. At the same time, the body uses water less efficiently as we get older. Certain medications (such as diuretics and laxatives), cognitive impairment, and many illnesses (including diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and infections) also raise the odds of dehydration.

Water is a great liquid to consume, but you can also obtain fluids from fruit juices, low-sodium soups, decaffeinated coffee and tea, and water-rich fruits (watermelon, berries, and grapes) and vegetables (tomatoes and lettuce). The Institute of Medicine recommends about 11.5 cups of fluid a day for women and 15.5 cups for men, which includes water in food. (About a fifth of your fluid intake comes from food.) This doesn’t mean you should start measuring your fluid intake. Instead, the Institute says you can meet your water needs simply by drinking water and other liquids when you’re thirsty.

John's Hopkins Health Alert 10/31/07

Night Sweats in a Hospital Room

I opened my eyes and squinted to see the large clock in my hospital room. 4 AM. Did I get any sleep?. I ran my fingers through my hair. I was sweating from my scalp. My pillow was wet as if I were crying through my hair. Wild dreams released demons from my mind. I rolled to my left side to stare at the IV that pumped a controlled dose of painkiller into my veins. Oh what a night!

The nurse entered my room staring at her clipboard. She inspected the machine that monitored my vitals and asked me how was I doing.

“OK I guess. Is it normal to sweat like this at night?” I asked.

“Some of my patients notice night sweats with this medication.” She replied as if regurgitating text from a nursing journal.

I sipped water through a bent straw then rolled over on my back to stare at the ceiling. Maybe I can catch another nap before my roommate wakes up and turns on the TV.

The Purple Onion

My purple onion began sprouting in my kitchen on my 57th birthday. It was a quiet affair. A tiny sprout pierced the paper-thin skin of the purple onion and peeked out of the darkness. The purple onion had begun its journey.

The next day the purple onion whispered, "Please sir, it is too dark for me to grow here. Can I move closer to the window? I need more light to live."

I considered this request to be reasonable indeed. I made the move. "Thanks!" the purple onion whispered.

Two weeks passed. Now the purple onion has several green shoots each ten inches long. They are green and strong. The purple onion is very happy!

I look closer at the purple onion's body. It is less plump. The green shoots are drawing energy from the inner source deep inside the purple onion. Energy for growth.

The purple onion inspires me each day to draw upon the power deep inside of me to reach out into the world.

"Take a risk!" the purple onion whispers.

The color of the purple onion represents our own majesty. There is magic in the purple onion. And there are layers. Layers of growth, just like the layers that reflect the many years each of us have been on this planet.

"Go deeper! Discover more layers," the purple onion whispers.

More history. More memories. More layers of power to draw upon to send to your shoots toward the sun.

I knew the purple onion was never alone. Not really. It was packed with all the power to complete this journey. Don't worry about the purple onion. All is well.

--Douglas Beckstein

More Reasons to Exercise

It's never too late to begin to exercise. In one study, those with advanced colon cancer who exercised regularly more than doubled their disease-free survival time.

If you have been diagnosed with polyps -- cancerous or benign -- you now have an incentive to make some different lifestyle choices.

•Stop smoking and limit your use of alcohol.
Exposing yourself to these known toxins can cause cell damage that promotes cancer. A recent study shows that alcohol and tobacco users developed colorectal cancer an average of 7.8 years earlier (age 63.2 years in women and 62.1 years in men) than those who never drank alcohol or smoked.

•Eat a balanced, low-fat diet with fruits and vegetables.
Studies show that a Mediterranean diet low in red meat and saturated fat and high in fiber, fruits, and vegetables is associated with overall health, including colon health. This also reduces inflammation, which is now associated with many diseases including cancer.

•Keep an appropriate weight for your age and body type.
Studies show that those who are overweight are at higher risk for colorectal cancer, and being very obese increases that risk by 50% for men and by 80% for women.

•Make daily exercise a habit.
People who exercise are at lower risk for colorectal cancer and appear to have a reduced risk of polyps.

Data from two recent studies show that after cancer diagnosis, vigorous exercise significantly increases disease-free survival and lowers recurrence risks.


source:Johns Hopkins Health Alerts

Take Control of Your Health

Studies show that at least half of all cancer deaths can be prevented by:

- Not using tobacco products
- Maintain a healthy weight
- Get plenty of physical activity
- Eat healthy foods
- Avoid mid-day sun and protect your skin with a hat, shirt and sunscreen
- Get cancer screening tests. Treatment is most successful when cancer is detected early.

www.cancer.org
American Cancer Society

Support Increased Cancer Research

Urge Your Members of Congress to Support Increased Funding for National Institues of Health (NIH) & National Cancer Institute (NCI) in FY 2008

Over the last four years, cancer research funding has fallen more than 10 percent in real dollars, forcing reductions in research grants and critical clinical trials. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society strongly supports an increase in federal funding for both the NIH and the NCI in FY 2008.

Email your U.S. Senator and Representative TODAY and urge them to support an increase of no less than $1 billion for cancer research in FY 2008!

Prevent Cancer by Wise Food Choices

We are what we eat, and that isn’t always a good thing. Some pesticides used on fruits and vegetables have been linked to breast cancer. And exposure to estrogen-like hormones used in raising livestock may increase your risk for the disease. Read labels, ask your grocer to stock organic produce and hormone-free meats and dairy products, and look for organic food at your local farmers’ market.

GO ORGANIC:
* Organic produce is grown without harmful man-made chemicals.
* Some organochlorines, chemicals made of chlorine and carbon, are estrogen mimics that cause breast cancer. Organochlorine chemicals are found in pesticides and plastics.

PICK ANTIOXIDANT-RICH FOOD:
* Antioxidants, such as Vitamin E, Vitamin C and Beta-Carotene protect our cells’ DNA against damage by free radicals—harmful chemicals that are found in car exhaust, tobacco smoke, x-rays and sunlight. Free radicals can attack cell membranes and damage the DNA of cells, which ultimately causes cancer.
* Studies suggest that many women’s cancers can be prevented by eating foods rich in antioxidants, high in fiber and low in fat.

CHOOSE HORMONE-FREE MEATS AND DAIRY:
* When we eat meat, poultry, fish and dairy products, we’re also eating the residue of what those animals ate, including pesticides, growth hormones, and contaminants.
* Hormone-free beef or dairy eliminates those traces of hormones that can enter our bodies and contribute to an increased risk of breast cancer.

FILL UP ON FIBER:
* A women’s lifetime risk of breast cancer is directly related to her lifetime exposure to estrogen. Fiber helps the body get rid of excessive estrogen.
* There are two types of fiber, and both are equally beneficial. Soluble fiber can be found in rice bran, oatmeal and barley. Insoluble fiber can be found in wheat bran and woody stems of vegetables and fruit.

Source:http://www.pureprevention.org/act_eatsmart.php

Prevent Cancer in Your Home

Your home is your sanctuary. But many household items, including paper products and cleaning supplies, contain cancer-causing chemicals. These products can be replaced with safer, non-toxic alternatives available at your local supermarkets and health food stores. Plus, by making smart purchases you let manufacturers and retailers know that you won’t stand for toxic products.

CLEAN WITHOUT BLEACH AND CHLORINE:
* Paper products are often bleached to make them whiter, and scientific evidence indicates that exposure to the chlorine used in many bleaching processes increases your risk of breast cancer. Choose toilet paper, tissue and office paper labeled “Processed Chlorine Free” (PCF).
* Replace harmful household cleaners containing bleach with cheaper, non-toxic alternatives like baking soda, borax soap and vinegar.

FIGHT HOUSEHOLD PESTS SAFELY:
* Studies have found potential links between pesticides and breast cancer risk. Look for natural alternatives to chemical weed and bug killers and take preventative measures such as mulching for weeds and using traps, barriers, fabric row covers, or plant-based repellants to get rid of pests.

BE CAREFUL WITH PLASTICS:
* Some plastics leach chemicals into the substances they touch, so you should try to choose non-plastic alternatives when possible.
o Avoid microwaving your food in plastic containers or in plastic wrap. Choose ceramic or glass containers instead.
o Swap plastic water bottles for stainless steel or aluminum options.
o Choose non-toxic baby toys and shower curtains instead of PVC (polyvinyl chloride), plastic or vinyl.

source http://www.pureprevention.org/act_healthyhome.php?msource=pure0907&tr=y&auid=3039015

These boots are made for walking

I laced up my new hiking boots as my friends watched me and then shook their heads. Two weeks before departure for Kauai, I finally bought hiking boots.

“How do your new boots feel?” Lior asked as she waited patiently with our hiking team. I jammed a water bottle in my pack and locked my car.

“Great. I got my poles too.” I replied proudly.

Lior and Laura inspected my hiking poles and then they gave advice on how to make pole adjustments for our hike. I missed the hiking pole workshop for some reason. They both filled me in on what they learned so far on how to use hiking poles. I am wobbly on steep trails so these poles are going to help me.

Off we go on our training hike in the Oakland hills. The sun will set soon so we better get moving. My boots fit perfectly. Better support for my ankles than my old pair of boots.

These boots are made for hiking and that’s just what I’ll do.
One of these days these boots are going to walk all over Kauai.
Ready boots?
Start walking.

On October 5, 2007 thirty hikers flew to Kauai and hiked the Wiamea Canyon. Our boots were made for walking. We raised $400,000 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. This means that our team has been able to fund 3 research grants and provided financial aid to 52 families!

After four months of training with Hike for Discovery I was able to complete an eight hour hike in the Wiamea Canyon in the on narrow slippery slopes. Probably the hardest hike of my entire life. I believe I no longer have a fear of heights!

Go Team!

Four Genes That Cause Colorectal Cancer

Four Genes That Cause Colorectal Cancer

Johns Hopkins professor Ross C. Donehower, M.D., F.A.C.P. discusses four newly-identified genes for colorectal cancer.

Scientists are identifying specific genes that confer a high risk of developing some cancers, including colorectal cancer. If you happen to carry one of these specific genes, your risk of colorectal cancer is increased considerably. Your doctor may recommend genetic testing if cancer seems to run in your family or if a close relative has been found to carry one of these genes.

* Colorectal Cancer Gene 1: Hereditary Nonpolyposis Colorectal Cancer (HNPCC) -- Also called Lynch syndrome, this inherited tendency to develop colorectal cancer represents between 2% and 7% of all colorectal cancers. Not all people who inherit this genetic disorder will develop colorectal cancer, but they do inherit a significantly increased risk as well as a risk of developing other related cancers. Cancer tends to show up during puberty or the early twenties.

* Colorectal Cancer Gene 2: Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP) -- This rare form of inherited cancer causes a massive overgrowth of polyps in the colon and rectum, often among people who are in their teens. Less than 1% of all colorectal cancers are due to FAP, which is also known as Gardner’s syndrome, familial polyposis, or hereditary polyposis of the colorectum.

* Colorectal Cancer Gene 3: APC I1307K Mutation -- This is a genetic variant of FAP found in about 6% of Ashkenazi Jews whose ancestors came from eastern Europe. The mutation increases the risk of developing colorectal cancer by as much as 30%. (The risk among the general population is about 5–6%.) Compared with FAP, the number of polyps in the colon is much lower, as is the risk of cancer.

* Colorectal Cancer Gene 4: MYH Polyposis Syndrome -- This form of colon cancer is a recently discovered recessive syndrome. Those who develop the disease must have inherited a particular mutated gene from both parents. Those who inherit only one affected gene are not at special risk for cancer but may pass the gene to their offspring. Affected individuals typically develop 10–100 polyps at around 40 years of age and are at high risk for developing colon cancer.

Safe Water Bottles

Plastic generates more questions to the Breast Cancer Fund about safety and health than any other household product. We can tell you how to choose wisely (avoid #3 and #7 plastics) and reduce leaching (don’t microwave in plastic), but it would be better for all of our health if toxic plastics weren’t sold in the first place.

Nalgene, maker of the clear, plastic water bottles that come in a rainbow of colors and appeal to adventurers and urbanites alike, has based its business on environmental sustainability. Most recent, Nalgene teamed up with Brita on a new campaign to reduce the use of disposable plastic water bottles.

We sincerely applaud the efforts of these companies to look for ways to reduce plastic from the environment. We are troubled, however, that Nalgene still makes and sells water bottles that contain a chemical called bisphenol A (identified as #7 plastic), despite overwhelming evidence showing health harm from even very small exposures to BPA.

Bisphenol A is a known hormone disruptor and several studies have shown that exposure to BPA in utero can cause breast cancer later in life. As Pete Myers, founder and CEO of Environmental Health Sciences, has noted:
“Since 1997, well over 200 articles have been published in the peer-reviewed scientific literature showing that BPA (bisphenol A) has a biological impact on cells and animals beneath the current federal standards, which were based on data gathered in the early 1980s… Significantly, all of the reports of major effects come from government or academic studies, while none of the 12 studies funded by industry has reported harm.”

Clearly under pressure from consumers, Nalgene touts the safety of BPA on the company’s Web site—largely citing “sources” supported by industry, including the American Chemistry Council’s Plastics Division (motto: “Better living with plastics”) and Polycarbonate/BPA Business Group.

It’s time for Nalgene, a subsidiary of ThermoFisher Scientific, to focus its sustainability efforts on our environment and our health.

Ask Nalgene to remove BPA from their products.

http://www.breastcancerfund.org/siteapps/advocacy/ActionItem.aspx?c=kwKXLdPaE&b=3374453&msource=news0907&auid=2987417

Diet and the risk of Colon Cancer

A number of studies have confirmed a link between diet and the risk of colorectal cancer. In one study of 150,000 adults reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, people who ate the most red and processed meat over a 20-year period had a 50% greater risk of developing colorectal cancer than those who consumed little meat.

Individuals who ate more poultry and fish than meat had a 70% lower risk of colon cancer. Likewise, a large European study of close to half a million people found that those who ate the most red and processed meat had the highest risk of colorectal cancer, while those who ate the most fish had the lowest risk of colorectal cancer. Eating poultry neither increased nor decreased the risk of colorectal cancer.

Finally, a third study, performed in Japan, found that women who followed a traditional Japanese diet (high in salted fish, rice, miso soup, and pickled vegetables) or a typical Western diet (high in meat and cheese) had a higher risk of colon cancer than those who consumed a healthy diet (high in vegetables, fruits, and soy). Men did not have a higher risk of colorectal cancer as a result of eating a Japanese or Western diet.

Women who consume a diet with a high glycemic load—one that includes lots of simple and complex sugars—may be more likely to develop colorectal cancer than those who eat low-glycemic diets. Dietary factors have been strongly linked to colorectal cancer, but the long-term effects of a high-glycemic load have remained unclear.

In their study, which was reported in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, researchers followed more than 38,000 women for an average of almost eight years. Participants were asked to record all the food they ate at the study’s onset. By the end of the study, 174 women had developed colorectal cancer. Women with the highest glycemic load were almost three times as likely to develop cancer as those who ate a low-glycemic diet.

High total carbohydrate and fructose intakes were also associated with an elevated risk of colon cancer. The study authors remark that trying to establish a link between diet and disease is difficult because dietary factors are interrelated and complex. Although a high glycemic load may be associated with an increased risk of colorectal cancer, other variables such as body weight, level of physical activity, smoking, alcohol use, and nutrient intake probably play a role as well.

Johns Hopkins Health Alerts February 27, 2007

New Tests Ease the Colorectal Screening Process

Colorectal cancer screening tests may not be all that much fun … but new options now make these necessary tests more comfortable.

More than half of people who should be screened for colorectal cancer are not. Reasons vary, but the primary reason seems to be the inconvenience, followed by trepidation about discomfort or pain.

New colorectal screening tests and preps can help solve some of these problems and improve screening rates. However, some are not widely available, and none is good enough –- yet -- to replace the traditional colonoscopy.

Colorectal screening with FIT:
The most simple colorectal test -- one that doctors recommend be done yearly -- is the take-home fecal occult blood test (FOBT), for which you take a tiny swab from your feces for three bowel movements in a row. Yet studies show that nearly half of people who are offered this test never complete the FOBT or don’t turn it in.

Although it is not the most pleasant of chores, the reason most people give for failing to follow up on this colorectal screening test is the six days of drug and diet restrictions beforehand. These seem daunting, especially to health conscious people who follow diets high in prohibited foods such as raw fruits, vegetables, and vitamin C. Many said they found the dietary restrictions confusing or believed they had invalidated the test by not following the diet instructions.

A newer colorectal test, the fecal immunochemical test (FIT), doesn’t require any diet or drug restrictions. FIT is like FOBT without the hassle. You can skip dietary restrictions because it only detects human blood. It’s covered by Medicare and some insurers but is not offered everywhere, as it is somewhat more costly than the FOTB. Ask if it is available to you.

Colorectal screening with PreGen-Plus:
An even more promising new colorectal screening test can detect tiny bits of DNA shed from cancerous tumors or polyps into feces. Preliminary studies show this test to be much more accurate than the fecal blood tests in finding colon cancer, and it requires no dietary changes or other preparations. However, it does require an entire bowel movement to be captured, packaged, and shipped to a lab within 24 hours inside a cooler. At $500 a test, it is much more expensive than fecal blood tests, and is not covered by Medicare or most insurance carriers. This test has great promise, once the price and kinks are worked out. If you want to try it and pay for it yourself, ask your doctor about the PreGen-Plus test.

Colorectal screening with OsmoPrep:
A complete emptying of the colon is essential for a colonoscopy or other colorectal imaging tests, and many people find that one of the most unpleasant aspects of the procedure is the preparation: drinking a gallon of salty laxative, glass by glass, every 15 minutes for four hours. The salty fluid can be nauseating, even when it is flavored.

A new tablet preparation approved in March 2006 offers some improvement, because any clear liquid can be used and because it takes less time and less fluid.

A sodium phosphate laxative called OsmoPrep is given in 32 tablets, taken with a half gallon of any clear liquid in two sessions totaling two hours. Some tablets are taken the night before, and the rest three to five hours before the procedure. The pills are not yet available everywhere.

Colorectal screening with a virtual colonoscopy:
At first glance, the concept of a CT scan instead of one that involves internal scoping has great appeal, as there is no invasive procedure involved -- just a high-tech imaging procedure. However, most people don’t realize that it would still require the unpleasant preparation -- the purging of the bowels with laxatives after a period of eating a limited diet.

So far, the imaging test is not as accurate as a colonoscopy, and if polyps are found, a regular colonoscopy will be required, which doubles the cost and inconvenience of testing. One advantage: The test is noninvasive and thus removes the very small risk of a perforation during the exam. Colorectal cancer experts haven’t given this test their complete approval yet. It is still being studied.

Colorectal screening with robotic colonoscopy:
In development now is a self-propelled and self-navigating colonoscopy tool, which uses gentle air pressure to travel though the colon. An Israeli medical team that researched the device says it does not require sedation, is less likely to cause damage to the walls of the colon, and takes less expertise to operate. The device includes pressure regulators to ensure that air pressure stays within safe limits. However, the device doesn’t have the capacity to carry any instruments. So if a biopsy or polypectomy is necessary, a regular colonoscopy will have to be performed anyway.

Source: Johns Hopkins Medical Alerts 9/4/07

Diet Joke from God

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, 'You want chocolate with that?'

And Man said, 'Yes!' and Woman said, 'and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles.' And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad.' And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, 'I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.' And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it 'Angel Food Cake,' and said, 'It is good.' Satan then created chocolate cake and named it 'Devil's Food.'

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, 'You want fries with that?' And Man replied, 'Yes! And super size them!' And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Joke: a generic name for Viagra

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of experts recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form. It will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink. This product will give new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and a "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on
Alzheimer's research. So by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no idea of what to do with them.

If you find this joke to be in bad taste I really don't care.

Turmeric Inhibits colon Cancer

Indian Spice Turmeric Inhibits Cancer Hormones

Curcumin, the main ingredient in the spice turmeric, has been used for centuries in Indian traditional medicine and curry, and has been shown to be an anti-inflammatory and antioxidant. Now a laboratory study suggests it could become a colon cancer preventive or treatment. The study looked at the effects of curcumin on cell activity and found it interferes with neurotensin, a gastrointestinal hormone suspected of setting off the cancer process in colon cells.

University of Texas researchers treated some human colorectal cancer cells with neurotensin, with and without curcumin. They confirmed that neurotensin started a chain reaction of chemicals that can increase the growth of cancer and also the migration of cancer cells and that curcumin blocked the process.

Curcumin appears to do this by blocking the biochemical signals sent by neurotensin that contribute to colon cancer cell growth and migration (the spread of cancer to other body sites). The cell studies need to be followed up by clinical studies in humans, the researchers say. Curcumin may have the potential to both treat and prevent colon cancer and other cancers.

This study was reported in the journal, Clinical Cancer Research (Volume 12, page 5346. Johns Hopkins Health Alert 8/20/2007

Anthocyanins slow the growth of colon cancer

New research suggests that anthocyanins -- the compounds that give color to most red, purple and blue fruits and vegetables -- appreciably slow the growth of colon cancer cells.

Evidence from laboratory experiments on rats and on human colon cancer cells also suggests that anthocyanins -- the compounds that give color to most red, purple and blue fruits and vegetables -- appreciably slow the growth of colon cancer cells.

The findings also bring scientists a step closer to figuring out what exactly gives fruits and vegetables their cancer-fighting properties.

“These foods contain many compounds, and we're just starting to figure out what they are and which ones provide the best health benefits,” said Monica Giusti, the lead author of the study and an assistant professor of food science at Ohio State University.

Giusti presented the findings, which represent the collaborative efforts of Giusti and her colleagues, on August 19 at the national meeting of the American Chemical Society in Boston.

Giusti and her colleagues found that in some cases, slight alterations to the structure of anthocyanin molecules made these compounds more potent anti-cancer agents.

In their studies on human colon cancer cells grown in laboratory dishes, the researchers tested the anti-cancer effects of anthocyanin-rich extracts from a variety of fruits and vegetables. They retrieved these anthocyanins from some relatively exotic fruits and other plants, including grapes, radishes, purple corn, chokeberries, bilberries, purple carrots and elderberries.

The plants were chosen due to their extremely deep colors, and therefore high anthocyanin content. Some of these plants are also used as a source of food coloring.

The researchers determined the amount of extract needed from each plant to cut the growth of human colon cancer cells in half. Altering pigment structures slightly by adding an extra sugar or acid molecule changed the biological activity of these extracts.

The researchers added different extracts to flasks that contained colon cancer cells. They used an analytical technique called high-performance liquid chromatography – mass spectrometry in order to determine the exact chemical structure of each compound. They used biological tests to determine the number of cancer cells left after anthocyanin treatment.

The researchers found that the amount of anthocyanin extract needed to reduce cancer cell growth by 50 percent varied among the plants. Extract derived from purple corn was the most potent, in that it took the least amount of this extract (14 micrograms per milliliter of cell growth solution) to cut cell numbers in half. Chokeberry and bilberry extracts were nearly as potent as purple corn. Radish extract proved the least potent, as it took nine times as much (131 µg/ml) of this compound to cut cell growth by 50 percent.

“All fruits and vegetables that are rich in anthocyanins have compounds that can slow down the growth of colon cancer cells, whether in experiments in laboratory dishes or inside the body,” Giusti said.

In additional laboratory studies, she and her colleagues found that anthocyanin pigments from radish and black carrots slowed the growth of cancer cells anywhere from 50 to 80 percent. But pigments from purple corn and chokeberries not only completely stopped the growth of cancer cells, but also killed roughly 20 percent of the cancer cells while having little effect on healthy cells.

In animal studies, rats induced with colon cancer cells were fed a daily diet of anthocyanin extracts either from bilberries and chokeberries, which are most often used as flavorings or to make jams and juices. The dietary addition of the anthocyanin extracts reduced signs of colon tumors by 70 and 60 percent, respectively, when compared to control rats.
Giusti says the results suggest that anthocyanins may protect against certain gastrointestinal cancers.

“Very little anthocyanin is absorbed by the bloodstream,” Giusti said. “But a large proportion travels through the gastrointestinal tract, where those tissues absorb the compound.”

In fact, other researchers at Ohio State have found that black raspberries may help reduce the growth of esophageal and colon cancers tumors.

Still, Giusti stops short of recommending one kind of fruit or vegetable over another. She and her colleagues are continuing to study how the chemical structure of anthocyanins contributes to the potential health benefits of food as well as how changes to these structures may affect the body's ability to use the compounds.

“There are more than 600 different anthocyanins found in nature,” she said. “While we know that the concentration of anthocyanins in the GI tract is ultimately affected by their chemical structures, we're just beginning to scratch the surface of understanding how the body absorbs and uses these different structures.”

She pointed out that her team is also evaluating how these pigments interact with other compounds in foods – such interactions could ultimately affect the health benefits of the food or the anthocyanin itself.

“It is possible to use natural, anthocyanin-based food colorants instead of synthetic dyes,” Giusti said. “Doing so still maintains the wonderful colors of foods while enhancing their health-promoting properties.”

This work received support from a U.S. Department of Agriculture-National Research Initiative grant.
Note: This story has been adapted from a news release issued by Ohio State University. August 19, 2007

Poopy Pants

Yesterday, I enjoyed a wonderful Sunday brunch with Barbara. We planned our day and decided to attend an outdoor theater event in Berkeley.

We both made numerous trips back and forth from the house to the car loading our provisions for a picnic: sunscreen, water, picnic lunch, ice chest, etc. At one point I pooped in my pants then off to the bathroom. As I sat on the john I planned my next steps.

"Barbara, could you bring my suitcase back in the house please?" I yelled.

She came down the hall and asked. "Sure, I can get it. What's going on?"

"I pooped in my pants and I need some anti-diarrhea pills" I answered.

"I am sorry. How many pills do you need?" She inquired.

"Two." I answered back. "Will you help me with this mess?"

Barbara showed me the cleaning supplies in her bathroom and then opened the pill blister pack then brought me a glass of water.

"Do you want to step into the shower and clean yourself?" Barbara posed as she handed me a glass of water and two pills to swallow.

"Thanks" I replied feeling very supported. I took my medicine as Barbara handed me a towel.

"Doug you aren't the only one who poops in their pants" Barbara announced. "I read your blog about the bowel control issues and I just want you to know that it happens to me too. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I have bowel control issues too. Changes in routine effects me too. You need to talk about it sweetie. This is normal."

"Thanks for reminding me. I forgot again that I'm not the only one who has poopy pants." I responded as I began to clean the toilet and rinse my underwear in the sink.

It has been three years now since the doctor removed half my colon. My body has healed but now I do not have the reservoir to hold stool. I don't get the message that I have to poop until the last minute so I still poop in my pants and still feel a bit ashamed.

"Did I pack and second pair of underwear in my suitcase?" I asked.

"No, I don't see any" Barbara answered.

I stepped into the shower, changed my attitude and washed away that poopy pants problem. I was going on a picnic with Barbara it is time to have fun. We had a great time in the park seeing a theatre production with friends.

Later that evening Barbara returned to Santa Cruz but required three stops to use the restroom on the way home. Same problem as I had in the morning. Barbara determined that it was the yummy Sunday brunch was the cause.

I am so glad I am able to talk about this when it happens. I feel so accepted by Barbara. I am a lucky guy to have a lady in my life who is so understanding!

Lloyd's Bruise

“Lloyd How are you?” I asked as I opened the door to the men’s locker room at the Oakland YMCA.

“I fell on my butt when I hit a rock skiing at Squaw Valley yesterday” Lloyd said. He dropped his gym bag and pulled down his pants. One cheek that had a black and blue bruise.

Lloyd had no shame. The door of the men’s locker room was ajar when I saw his butt cheek. Women were entering their locker room a few feet away this didn’t disturb Lloyd.

“Look at this Lloyd!” I pulled down my pants to reveal my 9-inch incision from my abdominal surgery. Not to be outdone by Lloyd. We blocked the door to the men's locker room.

This was dueling scars. Injury and story. We entered the locker room to catch up on our lives. I hadn't seen Lloyd for weeks.

“So you come to the Y to sit in the Jacuzzi for your butt bruise? That looks painful!" I commented.

“Not to bad. It only hurts if I sit down. I will do some stretching and swim a few laps to ease my tight muscles.” Lloyd replied. "then the Jacuzzi."

“How did you get that scar, Doug?” Lloyd inquired. He hung his street clothes in a locker and put on a Speedo swimsuit.

“Colon cancer, stage three, diagnosis was October, abdominal resection after Halloween then six weeks recovery.” I replied as I checked out my locker to find clean white socks to wear. The words just tumbled out of my mouth.

“Did the surgeon remove all the cancer? Lloyd asked as he weighted himself on the scale.

You could see the bones through the skin on Lloyd's body. He just weights himself for fun.

“Yes, now I have six months of chemo and radiation treatments.” I replied trying to be as casual about the next phase of my cancer treatment. Telling the story took some of the sting out of it.

“You’ll do fine Doug. I have many friends who have beaten cancer. You are a fighter plus you have a positive attitude. That will get you through. I will say a prayer for your speedy recovery.” Lloyd walked to the showers and turned the corner and was gone.

I paused a few minutes. I realized it was great to be back at the YMCA again to see my friends. I sat starring at my locker and realized how lucky I was to be alive.

“What’s the story on that scar?” Henry asked as he spun the tumblers of his combination lock. "Haven't seen you around the Y for a few weeks." Seven AM. Henry is right on time.

“I had surgery six weeks ago.” I replied. Didn't want to tell the whole story again.

“You be careful and go easy. Don’t hurt yourself.” Henry advised. Henry was 70. The man was known for the best Gumbo in Oakland and his band played great zydaco music.

“It is going to take a while to rebuild my adnominal muscles. Think I will swim a few laps in the pool with Lloyd.” I thought out loud.Lloyd was amazing. He was 85 years old and he still alpine skis, windsurfs, lifts weights and God knows what else.

Henry carried his shaving kit to the mirrors for his morning shave. Henry and his buddies lined up and shaved together every morning. They chatted about grand children and sports.

“Yes, someday when I grow up I want to be just like Lloyd.” I said walking toward the pool.

My Hiking Buddy

“Would you like to go for a hike after breakfast? I asked Lisa and Nigel sipping coffee on the deck next to the restaurant.

“Maybe.” Nigel replied.

“I’m getting a massage at 9.” Lisa noted looking at her schedule for the day.

“How was yoga class this morning?” I asked the dynamic duo.

“Great.” They both replied in unison. Lisa and Nigel were often joined at the hip.

The waiter named Sky brought our breakfast. We visit this old hippie resort on an annual basis. Massage and soaking in hot tubs and nude sunbathing are the norm. There are workshops on Tantra Sex and some new therapy unknown to me.

“After breakfast I am going to take my chemo pills and then go for a hike.” I announced.

“Really. Doug do you normally hike after your morning chemo treatments?” Nigel asked. He is a college professor with an inquiring mind.

“Never.” I reported. “Nigel, I want you with me so I don’t get lost.”

“Yes, I will be there by your side.” Nigel promised.

The buddy system has worked for me over the years. I had a buddy at summer camp when I was 11. I have a buddy when I scuba dive and when I hike. I have a buddy with me on any adventure. Why not a buddy for a chemo treatment? I took Nigel on a rafting trip on my 49th birthday and he took me cross country skiing in the mountains.

Nigel and I put on sunscreen, hiking shorts, hiking shoes and a sun hat. I took my dose and started walking up the trail. This was a Timothy Leary hike. A steady slow climb through the trees.

I watched my feet to be sure I did not trip on an exposed root but I was tripping. The forest looked electric. Light sparkled through the canopy of leaves. Maybe we walked one mile.

“How ya doing Doug? Everything OK?” Nigel inquired. He was watching me closely.

“Great. This is as far as I can go. Let’s head back.” I requested.

"Nigel." I asked.

"What" he replied looking at me.

"Are there wild turkeys in this forest or am I just seeing things?" I asked.

"Yes Doug a gaggle of turkeys have been following us on this hike." Nigel observed.

"Good because I thought the chemo was just creating that vision." I shared.

The return trip was casual. Doing my chemo treatments in that kind of environment was wonderful since I was pampering myself. Massage, sun bathing, hot pools, visiting with friends, falling asleep to the sound of a babbling stream and frogs singing in the night.

This was really a good trip.

Live Man Walking

“Are you awake Mr. Beckstein? The nurse asked me as she wrote down my vital signs in my chart. She saw I was not too keen on exercise.

“Yes, what time is it?” I asked. I could not see the clock on the wall. I took out my contacts before surgery. Two days after my abdominal resection procedure. Still no contacts.

“It is TIME for you to WALK, Mr. Beckstein. “She replied with the authority of a Supreme Court justice.

“The best thing for you to do Mr. Beckstein is to walk after surgery but your body is ANGRY!” The nurse continued with a scrunched up face trying to look angry.

My nurse unplugged the electronic gizmos but left my morphine IV. I was to walk for the first time. My blanket was moved as I made an attempt to scoot my heavy butt by using every single muscle EXCEPT my abdomenal muscles. I stared at the ceiling and tried to use my legs to move my butt.

“OOH I moaned as I tried to move with no pain. It is going to hurt but do it anyway I thought to myself. The nurse waited patiently as I inched slowly to the edge of my hospital bed. My nurse continued her “why you need to walk” pep talk.

“Mr. Beckstein after surgery your body goes into shock and is slow to start functioning again.” The nurse continued.

“Tell me more” I replied. I liked the pep talk and was glad to get more info about what is “normal” for patients after this surgery.

The nurse had that face again. “Your body is waiting for another attack like that surgery. I call it angry. When you walk you are telling your body It’s OK to start to move again. I want you to set a goal to walk FIVE times today.” the nurse commanded.

I made a mental note... walk five times today.

The nurse grabbed both of my hands and helped pull me to an upright sitting position on my bed. I am light headed. We pause a moment.

Next I wrapped one arm over my nurses neck as she lifted me onto my feet as I used my wobbly legs to lift my body. I think I weighted 8000 pounds that day. OK. I am standing. Now I must shuffle for 30 feet with blue hospital slippers pushing my IV cart. Hey this is fun.

Do you remember the Jackie Chan Kung Foo movies with the fight scenes in slow motion? That’s me but I have a nurse holding me steady with one arm and morphine IV in the other arm. This is a different fight than Jackie Chan. I had to walk with a 9-inch incision in my belly and staples to hold me together.

“Mr. Beckstein, the more you walk the quicker you leave the hospital.” The nurse stated.

“I hear your encouragement and I want to walk I really do, but morphine messages floated into my brain.

You know I've smoked a lot of grass
O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothin'
That my spirit could kill
You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round
With tombstones in their eyes
But the pusher don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die
God damn, The Pusher
God damn, I say The Pusher
I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

Don’t get me wrong. I am glad to be pain free. Morphine just took away my motivation to exercise or do anything. I shuffled five more feet then looked at my nurse. I know she is proud of me just to get out of that hospital bed. I was proud just to walk by myself and push my IV cart.

“OK lets turn around and return to your bed.” The nurse advised.

“I have to turn around now? Great I was doing so well in this direction." I replied.

A few nurses arrived to help by circling around me as I tried to turn 180 degrees. The nurses closed in to avoid me from falling. This maneuver is like a team of tugboats moving an aircraft carrier into port. OK my body is pointed home to my bed. I did make my return trip.

Thanks to the nurses I did complete my five walks that day and was able to stop morphine the next day. I left the hospital after six days.

The real turning point for me to start recovering from abdominal resection surgery was walking.

I am very grateful that nurse gave me that "lets go for a walk" pep talk.

Dreaming of My Friend Rona Wells

I tried one chemo treatment at the Chabot Space Center located in the Oakland Hills. I ate dinner with my roommates then drove to the Chabot Space Center, parked my car, bought a ticket and found a water fountain. I swallowed my one Xeloda pill then sat in the planetarium to wait for the effects.

My evening chemo dose was like a toke of pot or being mildly drunk. Same buzz to me. A star show at a planetarium was a great place to do a chemo treatment. My dose was mild and I could predict side effects.

I felt the gentle rush of the chemo. My body relaxed as the lights dimmed in the planetarium. Stars filled the dome. I slouched in the chair and stared at the ceiling. I listened to a smooth voice telling me a story about the night sky.

The smooth voice asked the audience to please exit the theatre. We were invited to the roof to look at the stars through telescopes. I floated for four hours as my chemo went to work. I killed cancer cells and was entertained at the same time. Cool.

Some chemo experiences were transformational for me. Sometimes my spirit left my body and then came back. As I looked at the night sky through a telescope I felt my spirit merging with other spirits. I had a sense of deep peace. Many chemo treatments were like dying then coming back to life.

My good friend's mom, Rona Wells had just died from cancer. She was given six months to live by her doctors. She lived four years. I had a few chances to talk with her before she died. I remember eating lamb chops in her home when I was not sure what I could eat because of chemo and nausia. Rona's kitchen was filled with her family and one guest, me. That was the last time I saw Rona.

As I looked at the stars Chabot Space Center I felt her spiritual presence. Rona was at peace and I felt her peace. This experience prepared me for her memorial service the following day. Her family and friends told a stories how she inspired them as she fought cancer. I said nothing at the service just held my friends as they wept in my arms. I will never forget her...

Stars shining bright above you
night breezes seem to whisper

I love you
Birds singin' in the sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me.
Say "nighty night" and kiss me

just hold me tight and tell me
you'll miss me.

While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me.

Where is Sharon?

Where is Sharon? I thought to myself. I was sitting in a teak chair on the patio of the Boulder Country Club watching golfers finish their last putt at the 18th hole. The sun warmed the brown grass of the foothills. A gentle breeze kissed my skin.

I sipped a cold beer and watched the catering staff present the latest California cuisine. I remember portion control from this week’s weight watcher’s meeting. I sat in chair to wait for Sharon to arrive.

“Would you like one of these, Sir?” the young woman asked politely?

“Thank you very much. Please tell the cook the food is wonderful.” I replied looking through sunglasses and putting one piece of shrimp on my small black plastic plate. I took a black napkin with the country club logo.

No sense launching into the “Don’t call me Sir” lecture. Being called “Sir” just pushes another button about getting old. I skipped the lecture for the server.

Where is Sharon? I thought to myself.

I offered my teak chair to an elderly woman and slithered through the crowd trying to look cool. I was wearing a white shirt open collar, black pants and black shoes. I remembered to wear black for a memorial service for Mike. He was only 22 when he died from a brain tumor. Mike’s family had two memorial services. One in Texas one in California.

Mike had two passions in his life: baseball and his wife. He wanted his family and friends to remember him when he was vibrant and healthy. Before he died he said. “There’s no crying in baseball so don’t cry for me.”

As I searched for Sharon in the crowd I ate a tiny chicken sandwich, grilled veggies with Thai peanut sauce, pieces of cheese all with the “portion control” weight watchers mantra playing in my head. I squeezed through the crowd trying not to spill Thai peanut sauce on my white shirt. This is all about me looking good at the country club.

Where is Sharon? I thought to myself.

“Excuse me do you seen Sharon here anywhere?” I asked one of the guests.

“No but there is Sharon’s mom at that table right there.” A young woman replied nodding her head toward a nearby table.

I walked over to meet Sharon’s mom. She wanted to know how I met Sharon and I gave her a brief outline of our friendship. I met everyone at the table and we talked about the weather and how bad the traffic is in the bay area. I said farewell and headed for the bar to get a cold bottled water for the commute home. I had given up my hope of seeing Sharon.

“There you are Doug. Thank you so much for coming today. How are you? “ Sharon asked.

“Hello!” I exclaimed as I gave her a hug. “I like your hair cut short”

“Thanks, this is my Texas cut. It has to be short. It’s very hot in Texas” She replied. “Let me introduce you to some of my friends.”

I shook hands and met two women who worked with Sharon. Now they are young moms each with a new baby. We all agreed that babies are wonderful. I slipped away from the two moms and found Sharon alone for a nanosecond.

“Sharon, how are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m am really glad you are here Doug. I am doing OK. Over the past few months Mike moved into hospice after the doctors gave up their medical treatments. The brain tumor kept growing and Mike slowly lost body functions. I asked Mike, Are you ready to go yet? He said No. A part of me wanted to hold on to Mike and never let my son go and another part of me wanted to let him pass away and be released from this world. It was a horrible way to die.”

There was a pause in her story as we watched the sunset. The two mothers had joined our conversation as we listened to Sharon’s experience.

“I was there when Mike was born and he entered this world and I held his hand when he died and left this world. After Mike died and I returned to his home I realized he was never coming back home. His house seemed so empty. I never realized how big Mike's spirit was until he died.”