Gift for Suzanne

A Gift for Suzanne
October 2006

I woke up early and made coffee.

Where is the sugar? I thought to myself as I fumbled around in a foreign kitchen. Hope they have half and half. I thought as I poured a cup of coffee, took a sip and then spat in the kitchen sink. SALT! I thought that was sugar! I searched all the cabinets. No sugar. Pat woke up and entered the kitchen quietly. She tip toed into the kitchen with toasty slippers wearing a warm terry cloth bathrobe.


“What are you looking for?” Pat whispered. We tried not to wake the other sleepers. We failed.

“Sugar” I replied embarrassed.

Pat opened a cabinet. She found a pretty canister with white sugar in four seconds flat. I configured my second cup of coffee.

Five minutes later the world was a better place. I had my coffee my way.

Pat and I slowly savored our coffee as we stared out the window at the garden in silent reflection.

We came to the Sierras for Melissa’s memorial service. She was killed in a traffic accident suddenly. Truck tire blowout, head-on collision, and Mo was gone. Maybe coffee will help with our mental clarity as we prepare for Mo's memorial service. Maybe coffee will be the comfort to soothe my despair.

“Coffee ready yet?” Tom whispered as he shuffled into the kitchen.

“I really like your bathrobe, Tom” I commented as Pat poured a cup of java for her sweetie.” Where did you get this one Pat?”

“Thrift store in Merced” she responded. I thought Tom and Pat's bathrobe collection was cool. Tom usually has that glazed look in the morning until has coffee and the morning paper.
Do they deliver a morning paper up here in the hills? I wondered.

Three people drank coffee and stared out the window waiting for caffeine to move to our brains.

Our hostess Suzanne entered the kitchen with her husband Ron. She had a small pot pipe and baggie of homegrown. Suzanne had been on the computer doing more research on her disease. Stacks of books about cancer surrounded her bed. Suzanne needed a break. She looked very tired to me this morning.

I remember the glass bowl in their living room with “Cancer Sucks!” black and white buttons. The glass bowl was half empty like her pot pipe.

“Mornin” the coffee drinkers mumbled in unison. Suzanne was fighting cancer. Pot was her pain reliever. Suzanne took a toke. We drank coffee together and stared out the window at the Sierra foothills.

“It is so quiet up here in the mountains. So peaceful.” I commented as I left the group to walk outside through the garden coffee mug in hand.

The sun was filtering through the canopy of trees. Birds sang, Fall colors surrounded me but I didn't see color that day. My heart was filled with sadness for my loss of a friend Melissa. I did not see color that day only black and white.

I opened my car trunk. I was not sure what would be a good gift for our hostess. This morning I had the answer. I returned to the kitchen with a small baggie in my hand.

“Here is some bud I think you will enjoy.” I offered it to my hostess. Suzanne smiled and looked at me with soft eyes.

“Thank you, Doug,” she said. "Want a toke?" she asked.

"I'm good," I replied. "Just need coffee, scrambled eggs, sausage and toast for breakfast this morning."

November 2007
I saw Ron and Suzanne once again at Pat’s 60th birthday party. She looked great to me compared to my last visit. She seemed peaceful. I watched her dance with her husband and visit with friends.

I asked Suzanne to look at my writing draft the “Gift for my hostess” piece and she relied:
“I liked your piece about us. Of course where I’m coming from I would call your coffee ‘sugar with a splash of coffee’ but then I have been sugar-free for year now. Coffee-free as well. You can keep your sausage breakfasts too. Believe me I’m not bitter that I can’t have meat and grease and cholesterol.

A year on my diet I believe has set me free. Reiki and diet and a good holistic local doctor have made my life better. Weekly massages too. Friends and a wonderful husband are the glue to my whole self.

I wouldn’t change anything in your writing,Doug. What a healing day that was for me. That’s when Michael Hornick offered me Reiki. He still delivers four times a week and I get to work on him with his sore hip.

We are blessed Doug, you and me, because we know the true meaning of gratitude. We see the good in Everything. Keep it up!
Happy Healing. Peace
Suzanne

January 12, 2008 at 4:30AM Suzanne died at home.