Did you boys pre-medicate?

Did You Boys Pre-Medicate?

When I got my oxyplatin chemo treatments, I was in no shape to drive myself home from the doctor's office. So I always asked one friend or another to drive me to and from my chemo treatments and to distract me in between.

For one chemo treatment, I invited my friend Rick to be my driver AND photographer Rick had years of experience shooting movies in Hollywood. Also, he had had stomach surgery himself, so he was very helpful helping me learn how to eat with a new digestive track. I wanted Rick to take digital photos of one of my chemo treatments. In the back of my mind I knew someday I would publish a book on my experience with colon cancer.

In the treatment room, I sat down in the patient chair and Rick positioned himself in the corner near the door. After a few minutes, a nurse entered the room and introduced herself. Uh oh, it looked like I was going to have to break in a new nurse. My oncologist was expanding his practice.

"Who is this?" the nurse asked me, as she started prepping me for my meds.

"My friend Rick," I responded. "He is here to drive me home after my treatment."

"OK," she said, sounding a little suspicious.

My nurse did not notice Rick's camera.

The needle stick for my IV was always a difficult part of my chemo treatment. I had hoped Rick would engage me in conversation as the nurse found a vein. But no, Rick was getting his camera ready for the digital shoot.

First the nurse started with the Saline solution. Next, she injected oxyplatin. It would take
exactly one hour for me to feel the full effects. I knew this from experience. Onyplatin is a booster drug or catalyst drug. This drug is like a solid fuel booster rocket to blast me into outer space. I was sitting in a chair ready for takeoff. “Ground control to Major Tom.”

The nurse left the room to attend to other patients and Rick went Hollywood.

Click, Click, Click.

I felt the freezing Oxyplatin crawl up my arm through my vein. It was like my entire arm was immersed in a bucket of ice. Rick kept shooting. He shot high. He shot low. I put a water bottle on my lap for product placement. Click, Click. We both found this hilarious. My facial expression shows much of my life force has been slammed into a chemo fog. Rick and I were laughing and shooting pictures. I got slammed full force by the oxyplatin. The new nurse burst into the room.

"What is going on in here? I heard laughing!" She barked a few questions. Then, a very stern look on her face, she asked both of us, "Did you boys pre-medicate?"

Even under the full force of Oxyplatin chemo fog I was able to reply

"No we didn't PRE-MEDICATE.

This oxyplatin has knocked me out for the next 4 hours and Rick here is my designated driver. After this treatment Rick will drive us both to a bar in where we will fully enjoy the rest of the afternoon. Rick will drink a pitcher of beer to catch up with me and I will slowly recover from Oxyplatin.

Rick will POST-MEDICATE.

After four hours of drinking for Rick and me processing the Oxyplatin, we flip a coin to see who will drive home."

The shocked nurse left the room quietly and made some notes in my medical record.