Finding hope after your cancer diagnosis

Moving from Despair to Hope

The news from your doctor that you have cancer is a major shock. I never thought I would get cancer! I do not remember anyone in my family having cancer. Turns out my grandma had cancer but I was too young to remember. Most of my family members died from heart disease. I was surprised to be diagnosed with colon cancer.

My head was swimming with a mixture of thoughts and emotions. Many were fear based, panic and dispair. How do you move from the panic from a cancer diagnosis to a hopeful future?

“Hope is a belief that a positive outcome lies ahead.”1advice comes from Livestrong, Lance Armstrong’s website.

“Hope is a decision, not an emotion nor a feeling,” explains Dr. Constance Holmes at a workshop entitled “Keeping Hope Alive.” She quotes from The Anatomy of Hope by Jerome Groopman, M.D

1. Hope, unlike optimism, is rooted in unalloyed reality.
2. False hope is rooted in fantasy; true hope is rooted in facts and data.
3. When there is no longer hope for the body, there is hope for the soul.
4. Hope acknowledges the significant obstacles and deep pitfalls along the path. True hope has no room for illusion.
5. Hope is the elevating feeling we experience when we see, in the mind’s eye, a path to a better future.

“Hope comes out of the will to live fully.” Dr. Constance Holmes explained.

“The fighting spirit construct (regard cancer as a challenge, take active steps, remain resolutely optimistic) is the psychological factor most frequently reported to affect disease outcome. Research is not conclusive if the fighting spirit actually is effective with women. Male cancer patients have not been under study.” 2

“Promoting “fighting spirit” or realistic optimism at the point of diagnosis can counteract an attitude of “helplessness/hopelessness” in cancer patients. The Greer study (1999) found that women who displayed a coping style of helplessness/hopelessness had an increased risk of recurrence.”

“Lifestyle – social support, sleep patterns, exercise regularity, good nutrition – all lead to elevated mood and maintenance of resilience.” Dr. Constance Holmes reported.


I agree with Ms. Holmes. As a cancer patient I saw my role was to participate fully in the cancer treatments and fight the disease. “Realistic optimism” means to align with the treatment plan. The medical team’s job was to pick the right treatment to kill cancer. My job was to recover from treatments.

My immediate goal after diagnosis was to get a second opinion after my diagnosis. Then shop for a surgeon to proceed with the abdominal resection. Then after six weeks of recovery from the surgery start six months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

After my cancer diagnosis, I made the decision to fight this disease and live. The decision to surrender to the medical care system and cooperate with the advice of the doctors was a daily decision. This was one example of my fighting spirit and I believe it helped me overcome this disease.

HOPE: SUGGESTIONS
The suggestions that follow are based on the information presented in the Detailed Information document. They are meant to help you take what you learn and apply the information to your own needs. This information is not intended nor should it be interpreted as providing professional medical, legal and financial advice. You should consult a trained professional for more information. Please read the Additional Resources document for links to more resources.

Share your hopes with other people:
Having a conversation about hope with your loved ones and your health care team can be difficult. Yet, if they don't know what your hopes are, they may not be able to provide the type of support you need during difficult times.
You may need to be direct and tell others what you find hopeful and helpful. You also can tell them what makes you feel hopeless so that they can help you with your feelings. Let others know that you are trying to stay positive and that you want to talk about things that help you feel hopeful.

Write down your thoughts and feelings about hope in a journal:
Keeping a diary or journal may help you understand the role hope plays in your life. You might find it helpful to keep a hope journal where you record helpful sayings, note your progress and list what you are hoping for.
You are free to write about anything you like, including:
Feelings
Relationships
Hopes and fears
Your life after treatment
What it means to you to be a cancer survivor
Your plans for the present and the future
You may find the process of journaling helps you recognize areas in your life that you can feel good about and areas that you want to change.
Find a quiet, comfortable spot to do your writing. Spend as much time writing as you want. You can write several pages, a couple of lines or even just one word to express how you feel or what you are thinking.

Talk to other survivors about finding hope:
You might ask a member of your health care team if they know a long-term survivor with a similar diagnosis who would speak with you. It's sometimes helpful to meet others who have been where you are and have been able to live fully despite a cancer diagnosis.
Support groups provide a safe environment to share experiences with other survivors, learn new ways to handle difficult situations and talk about emotions. You will see different styles of coping with stress and adjusting to life as a cancer survivor. If you are uncomfortable talking about certain subjects with your family or friends, a support group offers you a place to talk freely about what is important to you.
Ways to find out more about support groups in your area:
Ask a member of your health care team for suggestions. Some cancer programs offer support groups for cancer survivors and their family members right in the clinic or hospital.
Call a nearby cancer center or university hospital and ask about support groups.
Call the American Cancer Society at 1-800-ACS-2345 (1-800-227-2345) and request a list of support groups and cancer centers in your area.
Visit LIVESTRONG SurvivorCare at www.livestrong.org/survivorcare, or call 1-866-235-7205 for information on support groups.

Talk to a therapist if trying to find hope causes depression, anxiety or overwhelms you in any way:
Ask a member of your health care team for a referral to a therapist who works with other cancer survivors. Most cancer centers employ oncology social workers who are specially trained to work with cancer survivors and their families. Even if you are not a patient at a cancer center, the oncology social worker may meet with you or refer you to someone else in the community.
It is important to interview the therapist to find out if he or she is the right professional for you. Speak honestly with the therapist and let him or her know your reasons for wanting to work with a therapist.

Examples of questions to ask the therapist:
What type of education background do you have?
What license do you have?
What is your experience working with people with cancer?
What do you understand about the emotional response to this illness?
Do you take my insurance?
Do you work with people who are anxious? Depressed?
Do you know community resources for people with cancer?