Helplessly Handicapped

Helplessly Handicapped
4/12/08 5:02 AM

I cheated again
Used handicapped parking
But I’m not handicapped.
Told myself I earned my handicap status
Cause I am a cancer survivor
Every year DMV’s computer
Keeps renewing my blue handicapped pass
So I can cheat when I want
I can park for free, its OK I am special
I am helplessly handicapped
Push my car into a blue zone
Able-bodied people push money into meters
It is so tempting my parking pass
It sits in my glove compartment
Hiding like Halloween candy
Its OK, you earned it.
Being handicapped is a 12-step process
Hi, I’m Doug I’m slightly handicapped
I can park for free in Oakland all day
Cause I got a blue card hanging on my mirror
So easy, just hang the blue handicapped plaque
On the rear view mirror,
lock the car and walk away
I’m entitled to use my pass
Because?
Because I got cancer 5 years ago
Doesn’t that blue card expire?
Nope, I have become hopelessly handicapped
DMV will make sure it’s forever
My handicap status is permanent
But you are cured of cancer!
I am
So why are you helplessly handicapped?
Because I can still justify this behavior.
Really, and you can sleep at night?
Yeah. sometimes